Come Wander With Me

Description: Season 5, Episode 34

Air Date: May 22, 1964

Plot Summary: A talent agent seeks out a mysterious songstress in the middle of the boonies.

Review: As we approach the end of the line, you may be noticing a trend of lackluster episodes. The TZ writers really were burnt out at this point, and episodes like this demonstrate that fact. I have no idea what is supposed to be going on. You have a singer, named Floyd Burney (in case the episode doesn't beat it into your head), who is serving as a talent agent seemingly. Maybe he's looking for someone to screw over--I'm not sure--but he randomly arrives at a town in the middle of nowhere. It's implied he knows there is talent to be found here, but we never learn how or why. Likewise, Floyd is a really annoying character that needed to be punched...hard.

After "chatting" with a weird, old man, Floyd hears a siren-esque woman in the distant woods. The audience sees that Floyd already has a grave in these woods, but this is not properly explained. Tracking down the woman, Floyd tries to buy her song, but, fundamentally, decides to woo her instead. I like that it is greatly implied they fucked! This woman speaks pure nonsense to Floyd the entire time they're together, and you'd think he would be put off by the bizarre nature of this scenario but nope. At one point, an inbred weirdo shows up angrily since this woman was supposedly not allowed to sing the song or whatever. Seriously, nothing is explained whatsoever. Floyd kills this guy with a single punch as he appears to be made of glass. Then we get something about how this is a time loop of some sort or the woman is simply seeing the ghosts of this past incident. For the love of fuck, nothing makes sense! Eventually Floyd is killed by some goons after killing that old man from earlier, also made of glass. And that's pretty much it. Wow. This is definitely a nominee for the worst episode list. If TZ had an episode most likely to have been written while on drugs, this would be the one.