The Jeopardy Room

Description: Season 5, Episode 29

Air Date: April 17, 1964

Plot Summary: Soviet assassins plot to kill a former military officer hiding out at a seedy hotel.

Review: This could have easily been one of the classics, but the structure of the story is off. While this is still a decent episode, the potential to go beyond the standard is hard to overlook. You have a man, named Kuchenko, who is hiding out at a random, shit hotel. Unbeknownst to Kuchenko, two assassins have tracked his location and intend to drag out his death rather than outright kill him. The dynamics between Kuchenko and the assassins are not properly explored when they allude to knowing one another. What we do get is Kuchenko being drugged and awaking to his room now rigged with an explosive. If he can find and disarm the bomb within three hours he will be allowed to leave, however, if he does not try, or attempts to flee, he will be shot.

The story wants to convey this battle of wits combined with a sadistic vendetta, but there is not enough time to cover the material. The three hours of searching are reduced to a montage quite readily as we come to learn the bomb is in the phone; a ring will arm the bomb and lifting the receiver will activate it. The planning for this assassination is piss-poor, because Kuchenko simply makes a break for it once he realizes they want him to answer the phone. In a lackluster conclusion, the assassins are tidying up the room, in a manner of speaking, as Kuchenko calls them. Idiotically, the one assassin answers the phone, thus, blowing the two of them up. Was this a "Looney Tunes" moment? Eh, they tried, I'll give them that much.

How they could have made this episode amazing would be to start the episode off with Kuchenko awaking from the drugging. He finds the tape, as before, with maybe slightly more details to help the audience get a feel for things. Also, be sure to add "I want to play a game." As Kuchenko searches the room, you can have a back and forth with the audience as the middle-man. Meaning, Kuchenko can mumble things to himself with the assassins reacting while the assassins say things that Kuchenko can appear to be answering. Hopefully that makes sense; it's a play on editing tricks. Anyway, Kuchenko should realize the bomb is in the phone at the same time the audience does--this creates way more tension and engagement. I suppose the rest of the episode can play out the same, but I would recommend the addition of Kuchenko tricking them somehow rather than blatant idiocy. Maybe he manages to deactivate the bomb and rearm it somewhere else in the room--just bring things full circle. Oh well...here I am complaining about a story change 50+ years too late!

Caesar and Me

Description: Season 5, Episode 28

Air Date: April 10, 1964

Plot Summary: A ventriloquist turns to a life of crime at the behest of his dummy.

Review: I lied, "The Dummy" episode was done better than this one. Hey, I did say I mix them up--scenes I thought happened in this episode must have been from "The Dummy." Come to think of it, what was the point of this story altogether? It didn't really add any plot points that "The Dummy" didn't already explore. Hmm...

This time around we have Jonathan as the ventriloquist and Caesar as the dummy. From the onset it is established that Caesar is alive, and they hint at a previous owner. It would have been amazing if the episode tied directly into "The Dummy," but, alas, they weren't thinking in those terms back then. Jonathan fails to land any kind of steady work which leads him to be penniless. Due to this predicament, Caesar takes over as the brains and plots their life of crime. After robbing a few places their plans are thwarted by a bratty, little girl. That is some "Scooby Doo" shit right there. When the police confront Johnny-boy he breaks down like a little bitch. Then Caesar plots a new scheme with the little girl. The end. Umm...what is going on? This episode isn't too bad, but it's really pointless. Why is anything happening and what is Caesar's goal? Maybe something was cut from the plot. They should have already started as criminals and went from there to develop the story.

Sounds and Silences

Description: Season 5, Episode 27

Air Date: April 3, 1964

Plot Summary: An eccentric man drives those around him crazy with his obsession toward loudness.

Review: I hate to say this yet again, but this is one of the worst episodes. Season 5 really was rough for the series after all. The story is too bizarre and pointless without having any kind of deeper message you expect from TZ. All you get is a guy who thinks he's a ship captain or something as he annoys everyone around him. The guy owns a model ship company and tries to emulate everything naval related into his life; sometimes it's kind of cool, but it would get old fast. He also likes to talk very loudly and blast music or sound effects at earth-shaking levels. When his wife explains that she's tired of him and is leaving, this leads to him seeking psychiatric help. However, we do learn that his obsession with loud noises is due to his mother being the polar opposite and enforcing strict quietness when he was a child. After speaking with the psychiatrist, the man realizes he can control what he hears in a mind over matter kind of way. He decides to block out his wife as she leaves in order for him to further enjoy what he hears and doesn't hear. Since this is TZ, the guy ends up losing his ability to hear altogether and freaks out like a baby throwing a tantrum. The end. Yeaaahh...this one isn't doing it for me at all. The story would have been better if they focused on the guy and his mom, but, alas, we don't get that. Oh well.

I Am the Night--Color Me Black

Description: Season 5, Episode 26

Air Date: March 27, 1964

Plot Summary: In the hours leading up to a man's execution, a small town becomes cloaked in perpetual darkness.

Review: I get what they were trying to say here, but I think they missed the mark. Too much of the story is vague, and they do not fully explore the motivations behind the executed man. Apparently some little town in the boonies is performing a public execution by hanging. Uhh...was this even legal? (In Palpatine voice) I will make it legal! There is something about the guy killing the town bully in self-defense, but he also says he got off on the killing for whatever reason. The townspeople have been complicit with the conviction as well, but we don't know enough about these characters.

Despite a supernatural night that won't end, the townspeople are seriously more concerned about making sure this guy dies on schedule. Okay, I get it, the premise is the people are evil, hence the night, but would people ignore something akin to divine intervention? So, yes, the night is explained to be a manifestation of the evil of humanity. Though this town is the first, or one of the first, the characters eventually learn this is a worldwide phenomenon. Essentially, the hate of humanity has grown out of control and has manifested into reality in a tangible way. This aspect I do really like, but it's not examined in a way befitting of TZ. I think there should have been an emphasis on a breaking point. Like...there was a tipping point that connects specifically to this execution and the events leading up to it, but this is never explicitly mentioned nor would it make sense given the vague aspects of the execution. Finally, the man is executed rather quickly as the town grows ever darker. The episode ends with characters wondering when the light will be gone permanently. I appreciate the grim tone and outlook--I especially like the basic principle at hand--but that extra kick TZ is known for is absent this time around.

The Masks

Description: Season 5, Episode 25

Air Date: March 20, 1964

Plot Summary: A dying old man demands his horrible family wears masks until midnight or else they will be cut from his will.

Review: This is another classic and definitely one of the best episodes to boot. It may or may not be top 10 worthy, but there is a certain, poetic nature to the ideas presented. The story is not complicated at all as it follows an old man approaching his inevitable death. Awaiting the old man's death, or, more appropriately, awaiting their money, is the old man's family: a daughter, her husband, grandson, and granddaughter. Knowing his time is short, and coinciding with Mardi Gras, the old man has arranged for a special party. No, that doesn't mean drunk whores going topless for beads. In order to receive their inheritance from the old man the family must abide by the one stipulation of keeping their masks on until midnight. Given the plot, and the Louisiana setting, they do hint at the magical properties of the masks.

The actors do a decent job of demonstrating the antics of the characters without spending a lot of time to get to know them. The daughter is a crybaby hypochondriac, the husband is a panderer and greedy bastard, the grandson is a sadistic idiot, and the granddaughter is a narcissistic bitch. The old man assigns them a mask that represents those traits yet the family members believe themselves to possess the opposite of those traits; the old man himself dons a skull mask that is intended to represent the face of death. Almost immediately after midnight has passed, the old man finally does die but not before providing some parting wisdom for the audience. Realizing the old man is truly dead, the family rejoices until they discover their faces have distorted into the shape of their masks. As it turns out, the face of the old man remains normal and content as he has found peace through death. In the end, the family has received exactly what they wanted, but they must live with their freakish appearance as a consequence--no longer able to hide their true nature.

What makes this episode so great is the entire notion of the masks themselves and what they symbolically represent. Typically we understand that bad people wear a figurative mask to hide their true self--a veneer in order to manipulate those around them. This can come in various forms--from fake smiles to a pretty face--as people are very good at hiding their true selves until an opportune moment. In this story, the characters are forced to confront and accept the grotesque face that lie under that mask. The comeuppance of the characters is that they are exposed--they must now go through life unable to hide behind their figurative mask. As the old man says, they are caricatures of their devious traits--representing outwardly and inwardly the worst that mankind has to offer. More so, there is an important part when the old man is nearing death and he asks if anyone has anything to say to him. Notice, no character mentions the sense of loss, mourning, or wish that this didn't have to be; there is no emotion, remorse, or pain from such heartless individuals. This is an episode I'd love to see made in today's environment. Oh the horror I'm sure we would see in response!

What's in the Box

Description: Season 5, Episode 24

Air Date: March 13, 1964

Plot Summary: After insulting the TV repairman, a cheating husband watches visions of himself killing his wife.

Review: WHAT'S IN THE BOX?! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?! Please tell me you get that reference? Okay, moving right along...as you may guess from the plot summary, the main guy here is not receiving any husband of the year awards. I'm not entirely sure what this episode was trying to convey--a douche getting his comeuppance? Don't mess with the TV guy? I don't know. I'd place this episode as a middle-of-the-road kind of story: not much going on but not necessarily bad either.

An old dude, named Joe, is somehow getting nookie on the side that he's keeping secret from his wife, Phyllis; he's a taxi driver and makes up stories about faraway fares. Seriously, how is this old guy getting ass? Needless to say, this married couple absolutely hates each other with a burning passion. After Joe talks shit to the TV repairman, the repairman bails with a taunt about the TV being "fixed." I don't know who this guy is supposed to be, but he keeps eyeing the camera like a wink to the audience. It's situations like this, where TZ doesn't fill in the void, that I feel like Mr. Serling should have been a kind of entity moving about the series. Oh well, that's just another reason to love the "A World of His Own" episode so much.

On the TV, Joe sees himself cheating on the wife, his conversations with Phyllis, and eventually himself killing her. Being one of the dumbest characters known to man, Joe willingly creates this future he claims he wants to avoid. After revealing his cheating ways, but claiming he loves Phyllis, the two fight until Joe punches her out a window; that shot is amusing though. The episode ends with the police arresting Joe but not before the TV repairman gives one final taunt. Who is this guy?! Ehh, this episode isn't really noteworthy. The TV repairman could have been the x-factor to spice the episode up, but they never utilize this character meaningfully. At the end of the day, the lesson to be learned is don't get married.

Queen of the Nile

Description: Season 5, Episode 23

Air Date: March 6, 1964

Plot Summary: A journalist discovers that an actress is far older than anyone would believe.

Review: Think of this episode as the reverse of "The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine;" instead of an actress growing older, the actress cannot age. As the title would imply, the actress is, more than likely, supposed to be Cleopatra who has magically achieved immortality through shenanigans with a scarab. While this is mostly a mediocre episode it did have its moments. I especially liked that the actress uses her daughter, who is an old woman, as her mother. Though, this begs the question, why wouldn't the daughter be immortal too? Or, if it really does come down to this magic scarab, why can't the actress share this power with her own daughter? I'd love to say that this story touches on interesting ideas or topics, but it doesn't dig deep. Too much time is spent with the journalist pathetically trying to explain away how this actress can be all over the world at different eras yet claims to be only in her thirties. The journalist does die due to his own idiocy, but you'd think this actress would get caught by now, right? I mean, sure, technology was limited back in those days, but it shouldn't be too hard to keep track of a woman who stays in the limelight in all eras rather than keeping a low profile. Hell, there's even a guy in the episode who claims he knew one of her past identities, and he doesn't put two and two together? Come on, son. Eh...average thrills for an average episode.