The End?

Well, it's over, I'm finally done with all 156 episodes! Since I did an intro post, I figure it would only be fitting to add a bookend to the series for a sense of closure. More importantly, this isn't necessarily the end as far I'm concerned. I still intend to post my various top 10 lists to help put the show into perspective. Though, I might be slow in assembling those lists with a considerable amount of contenders. The lists I guarantee will be created are the top 10 worst, best, underrated, and overrated. I am considering a few other lists like scariest, funniest, and most influential; these lists I can't guarantee since I don't want it to feel like I'm harping on the same episodes over and over.

Other than that, I might add the review of the TZ film here rather than on my movie blog. I have considered going over the '80s revival show as well as the one from the early 2000s. The only problem is that I don't own those shows nor do I have much interest in them. You'd think TZ and the '80s would be awesome to me, but it's just the opposite. The episodes look cheap, and the stories are underwhelming to say the least. Likewise, the few episodes I did watch from the 2000s series did not channel TZ's form of storytelling. It was as if they wanted to make another shitty anthology show and figured they could score a few extra viewers by calling it "The Twilight Zone." That's not how it works. I don't know, I'll have to think about that a little harder. One way or another, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for those two shows.

Finally, I want to reiterate how fun TZ has been to watch from the true start all the way to the end. I've been watching episodes in random order my entire life with little to no understanding of what season each episode came from; I'm guessing a ton of fans have done the same too. Now I finally see things as they truly were and experienced the stories complete, free of butchering from networks to fit more godforsaken commercials into the time slot. Despite cancellation over 50 years ago, you can still feel TZ's impact on writers and within movies, books, and TV. If there was anything I hoped to get out of this blog, it would be to help preserve TZ's legacy one review at a time. I believe it's important to still talk about this show and keep it as a mainstay within pop culture due to its relevance, timelessness, and greatness. Also, if I managed to inspire even one new fan to discover this iconic show, then I have succeeded.

The Bewitchin' Pool

Description: Season 5, Episode 36

Air Date: June 19, 1964

Plot Summary: Two neglected children find a portal to another world beneath their swimming pool.

Review: The one thing that has always bothered me about TZ was the miserable conclusion to one of television's most legendary and iconic shows. After so many great stories--ideas so imaginative and original they're still being ripped off to this day--it's not right to close the show out for good with the objectively worst episode in the series. I mean, we have horrible audio dubbing, repeated footage, and a nonsensical, pedo-riffic story. Clearly the fates were working against TZ in this instance.

The story revolves around two annoying brats, their asshole dad, and the biggest bitch in the show's history for a mom. Seriously, I would have killed this bitch if I were married to such an insufferable diva. One line I really liked was when the dad tells the mom to take care of the kids, and she says that's what the maid is for. And this guy follows up with, "And what are you for, sugar?" OH SHIT! You got nothin', hun. Anyway, this loving family is shockingly about to go through a divorce. It's okay though, the kiddies have a creepy, old lady to hang out with that lives at the bottom of their pool. Well, more precisely, some kind of portal at the bottom of their pool leads to this geezer. It didn't help the already shit audio that this lady talks like she's perpetually itching to give a gumjob. Too far?

I guess this is supposed to be a kind of Peter Pan thing going on...maybe. Do the kids still age or not? I got the distinct feeling this crazy lady was just going to eat them anyway; she keeps giving them huge slices of cake after all! Also, there are a ton of kids that stay here, but what are they supposed to do, play games for the rest of their lives as immortal children? The main kids do travel back and forth between this oblivion and their home a few times, but, fundamentally, they decide to stay with grandma when everything is said and done. This is kind of an awkward choice if you think about it. Do you stay with horrible parents who will probably use you as a bargaining chip in a divorce or take your chances with a weird, old lady that probably wants to molest you before you're fat enough to eat? Hmm...decisions, decisions. Ugh. Needless to say, this episode is not good. Even the dumbest episodes had their shit together from a technical standpoint. I think I am extra bitter, because this was the final episode--an honor this episode disgraces.

The Fear

Description: Season 5, Episode 35

Air Date: May 29, 1964

Plot Summary: A state trooper and a fashion editor are tormented by, seemingly, giant aliens at a secluded cabin.

Review: The end is just on the horizon as we come to the second to last episode. Eh, the story here is a hit and miss. In one respect, I like the notion of aliens playing on your fears, but it's not fully realized. At the same time, the ending is completely nonsensical and outright stupid. We kick things off with a state trooper, checking in on a snobby, New York fashion editor. This bitch supposedly saw lights around her cabin, and the trooper wants to...uhh...verify this statement I guess. Sure enough, shenanigans begin to ensue with flashing lights and the trooper's car moving on it's own and crashing. At one point the car is flipped over, leaving behind gigantic fingerprints.

The banter between the trooper and the bitch are somewhat amusing, but everything feels contrived. In fact, this entire episode comes off similarly to a cornball, drive-in movie from the '50s. The dialogue is over the top and the scenes are overly dramatic in the worst of ways. If this were satire I'd say it was genius, but, unfortunately, it wasn't. Anyway, the two eventually come face to face with a huge footprint and an accompanying monstrous alien. The trooper decides the best course of action is to shoot at it--because why not--and the two realize it was nothing more than a balloon. As it turns out, the aliens are quite tiny and were trying to scare the couple...in a ploy to take over the world? Yeah, sure, whatever.

The main reason why this episode fails is due to sheer idiocy. Ignoring the fact that the plot is merely the reverse of "The Invaders," the scheme of the aliens is implausibly moronic. You have super advanced technology yet you need to "scare" humans to defeat them? Just blow shit up! And why this couple? Were they somehow going to spread the word? If they were test subjects, try another test...or blow shit up. The execution was not working at all when the ingredients for a decent episode were more than present.

Come Wander With Me

Description: Season 5, Episode 34

Air Date: May 22, 1964

Plot Summary: A talent agent seeks out a mysterious songstress in the middle of the boonies.

Review: As we approach the end of the line, you may be noticing a trend of lackluster episodes. The TZ writers really were burnt out at this point, and episodes like this demonstrate that fact. I have no idea what is supposed to be going on. You have a singer, named Floyd Burney (in case the episode doesn't beat it into your head), who is serving as a talent agent seemingly. Maybe he's looking for someone to screw over--I'm not sure--but he randomly arrives at a town in the middle of nowhere. It's implied he knows there is talent to be found here, but we never learn how or why. Likewise, Floyd is a really annoying character that needed to be punched...hard.

After "chatting" with a weird, old man, Floyd hears a siren-esque woman in the distant woods. The audience sees that Floyd already has a grave in these woods, but this is not properly explained. Tracking down the woman, Floyd tries to buy her song, but, fundamentally, decides to woo her instead. I like that it is greatly implied they fucked! This woman speaks pure nonsense to Floyd the entire time they're together, and you'd think he would be put off by the bizarre nature of this scenario but nope. At one point, an inbred weirdo shows up angrily since this woman was supposedly not allowed to sing the song or whatever. Seriously, nothing is explained whatsoever. Floyd kills this guy with a single punch as he appears to be made of glass. Then we get something about how this is a time loop of some sort or the woman is simply seeing the ghosts of this past incident. For the love of fuck, nothing makes sense! Eventually Floyd is killed by some goons after killing that old man from earlier, also made of glass. And that's pretty much it. Wow. This is definitely a nominee for the worst episode list. If TZ had an episode most likely to have been written while on drugs, this would be the one.

The Brain Center at Whipple's

Description: Season 5, Episode 33

Air Date: May 15, 1964

Plot Summary: A businessman is determined to replace his workforce with machines.

Review: This might not be one of the better episodes, but TZ was never one to shy away from controversial topics. Essentially, Mr. Whipple is the current boss of his father's company. Intending to drastically increase profits, Whipple plans to install various machines to replace his human workers around the factory. Of course the employees do not want this, but, more than that, the employees feel betrayed that their decades of loyalty go unrewarded. After some time, Whipple has replaced virtually all employees with the exception of a few techies used for upkeep on the various machines. For whatever reason, Whipple loses his shit one day as the machines go apeshit. Shortly thereafter, Whipple appears to be fired from his own company by the shareholders. All Whipple can do is complain in a similar fashion to his former employees as an actual robot is tasked to replace Whipple's position. A fitting end I suppose, but it felt rushed overall.

What I like about this episode is that TZ tries to be fair to both sides of the argument. Putting people out of the job feels wrong, but should we impede human progress over feelings? Or is this even a path we should take? As one techie alludes to, if everyone is out of work, who will be left to buy the products being sold? See, at least people in the '60s still had principles and understood what was being taken away. Nowaday, the drones that comprise society embrace hopelessness with a positive spin since they're too busy being distracted by the nearest flashing light. Pitiful. Regardless of whether it's right or wrong to replace humans with machines, one thing is absolute: a society based on exponential growth cannot be sustained. Be wary, lest you become a slave to your own creation.

Mr. Garrity and the Graves

Description: Season 5, Episode 32

Air Date: May 8, 1964

Plot Summary: A traveling con man claims he has the power to resurrect the dead in a small town.

Review: I guess this is supposed to be another comedic episode, but the humor is more subtle than the previous comedy episodes. The titular character is an obvious con man as he moves from town to town in the late 1800s. The townsfolk, who are simpletons, are easily convinced of Mr. Garitty's abilities after he resurrects a dog that was seemingly run over by a wagon. He then proceeds to resurrect an entire graveyard worth of individuals much to the dismay of the townspeople. Once the first zombie-ish person appears, we come to learn that the townspeople were actually happy with the deaths of these individuals and would quite readily pay to have them return back to their eternal slumber.

After Mr. Garitty collects all of the money he can and bails on the town, the truth about him being a sham is revealed. The dog was effectively playing dead, and Mr. Garitty had an assistant that scoped out the town ahead of time in order to dig up dirt on each person. Likewise, this assistant was playing the zombie as he tries to find a dead person that looks closest to himself. Once Mr. Garitty and crew carry on their merry way, we see that the dead really have been resurrected, and they're eager for revenge just as the townspeople imagined. The zombies imply Mr. Garitty really did have a power, but this is not properly explained. The shot of everyone coming back to life was done well, but it would have been infinitely cooler and scarier in an episode that took the material seriously. Overall, this is a decent episode, but nothing is noteworthy about the experience.

The Encounter

Description: Season 5, Episode 31

Air Date: May 1, 1964

Plot Summary: Two men have a bizarre "encounter" in an attic. That doesn't sound right...

Review: Up until this year, the only way for many to see this episode was through a DVD/VHS or time travel. Oddly enough, given the PC climate of today's crybaby populace, I'd imagine it would get banned now rather than actually being unbanned after 50+ years. Huh...go figure. Anyway, the controversial aspects should be easy to notice especially when TZ is not known for this kind of tone. Setting aside the drama, was this even a good episode to begin with? Well, not particularly.

Two men walk into an attic and don't come back out. That may sound like the setup for a joke or the premise to a riddle, but that's, more or less, the gist of this story. Fenton is a bitter WWII vet cleaning out his attic when a Japanese man, named Arthur, shows up to answer an ad Fenton had for yard work. Of note is George Takei playing Arthur which only adds to the "Star Trek" alum featured in TZ. Sitting down for drinks in Fenton's musty attic, the two go from one heated exchange to the next. It is implied that an old samurai sword has semi-cursed the two men, but this is ambiguous. Essentially, we learn that Fenton is a brute who killed a surrendering officer for that sword. Arthur, on the other hand, is ashamed that his father was a traitor against the USA during the Pearl Harbor attack; he feels some kind of inner guilt due to this. The two men engage in a few scuffles with the final one ending with Fenton being impaled by the sword; though, I love how there is no wound. Losing his shit completely, Arthur leaps out the attic window, committing suicide. A bit extreme, but why not, right?

I'm not really sure what this episode was trying to get at. Sure, I'll give them credit for not glamorizing WWII the way most do. After all, TZ's crew lived and fought in WWII and know firsthand that it was far from the movie depictions. However, I don't understand the general point to everything. The two men are guilty for whatever reasons but neither comes to term with it. Likewise, the sword's supernatural contribution is ill-defined. It would have been interesting if Arthur had a connection to the sword, and the events were some kind of cosmic fate at work to bring the two men together. Perhaps I'm missing the point...maybe the episode was simply trying to show the darker side of WWII and its effects on different individuals' lives.

Stopover in a Quiet Town

Description: Season 5, Episode 30

Air Date: April 24, 1964

Plot Summary: After a night of drinking, a couple wake up in a mysteriously abandoned town.

Review: I'm not sure if this episode is considered a classic or should be ranked among the underrated. Regardless, it does feel faintly similar to a few other episodes, but it does enough differently with the story to set itself apart from the rest. This time around, we have a goofball couple awaking in a lonely town after they partied a bit too hard the night before. The husband is having a full blown hangover, and the wife insists she didn't drink much as she was the one driving. The last thing the wife remembers is seeing a shadow; the two simply believe they stopped over in some random town for the night and have blacked out the memory.

Exploring the town, the couple comes to the realization that almost everything is a prop. The trees and grass are not real, the animals are stuffed, the food is fake, and even the finer details like cabinets are for show. With no one around to deliver the answers, they suspect that the town is some kind of set or staged for an event. The only problem with their theory is a lingering sense of being watched and a weird laughter from a little girl always just in the distance. After hearing a train, the two board immediately and don't even want to know what was going on in this town. Unfortunately for them, when the train reaches its next stop it is none other than the same town; they are going in circles. Just when the couple can't be more freaked out, they attempt to run away when a giant shadow emerges overhead; this is followed by a giant hand grabbing the couple. It would appear our characters have been abducted by giant aliens and placed in a child's toy town. Ignoring that these aliens look strangely like '60s Americans, the couple is left to an uncertain fate--nothing more than mere playthings for an alien child. I really like the way the atmosphere is handled here. The mystery is hinted at early on in the wife's dialogue, but it's easily brushed over especially when the concept of alien abduction wasn't as commonly understood then as it is today. Lastly, I know modern audiences would scoff at the effects used here, but, considering this was a 50 year old TV show on a limited budget, I was impressed.