Passage on the Lady Anne

Description: Season 4, Episode 17

Air Date: May 9, 1963

Plot Summary: A couple, whose marriage is on the rocks, decide to take a trip aboard an old cruise ship.

Review: This story may have the distinction of being the least TZ-feeling episode in the entire series. If anything, this was TZ's answer to a serious, romantic drama. They do tack on an ambiguously supernatural element toward the end, and an ongoing mystery throughout, but that's definitely not what this episode is about. You have the main characters, Alan and Eileen, who decide to go on an alleged honeymoon (6 years into the marriage mind you) aboard a cruise ship called, you guessed it, the Lady Anne. The problem is that Alan is a complete asshole and Eileen is a whiny bitch. I wanted to throw them both overboard. Despite this, the banter between the characters is rather entertaining and downright humorous at times. It helps that much of the supporting cast do a fantastic job of playing off one another with great chemistry.

Much of the story focuses on Alan and Eileen trying to rekindle their love. Eileen thought that the voyage itself would spark romance, but Alan is too worried about business dealings that await him. The two argue a lot until they start to question their entire marriage. Psh...they would have divorced years ago if this were nowaday. The situation is exacerbated by the other passengers who are old people that seem to spend way too much time dwelling on their own romances and losses. I suppose this was intended to inspire Alan and Eileen but whatever. At one point Eileen mysteriously disappears and Alan inexplicably realizes how much he loves Eileen again. Is that really all it took? The disappearance is never explained as Alan finds her the next day or so. It's greatly implied they fucked like crazy afterward as a result! With their romance magically restored, the two become fully invested in enjoying their trip.

So what makes any of this a TZ episode? It would seem Alan and Eileen inadvertently booked their voyage on a ship nearing retirement. As a consequence, the crew and passengers have decided to kill themselves or travel into oblivion for all I know; it's not clear at all. Over the years, many couples have grown sentimental and attached to the ship. As they and the ship have aged, the old people want their memories to go out with a bang. Unfortunately for Alan and Eileen, no one told them this ahead of time. There are sprinkles of shadiness here and there, and the old people do try to deter the couple from sailing with them, but it feels forced to fit the TZ theme. When Alan and Eileen have patched up their relationship, the old people force them onto a life boat so that they can freely travel to Aman with the elves or something. And that's all that happens. Lame romances really aren't my cup of tea, but the episode is saved by the dialogue and banter. I'm just surprised TZ didn't try harder to make the episode fit their regular tone. If you saw this on TV without the narration from Mr. Serling you would never guess what this was truly from.