The End?

Well, it's over, I'm finally done with all 156 episodes! Since I did an intro post, I figure it would only be fitting to add a bookend to the series for a sense of closure. More importantly, this isn't necessarily the end as far I'm concerned. I still intend to post my various top 10 lists to help put the show into perspective. Though, I might be slow in assembling those lists with a considerable amount of contenders. The lists I guarantee will be created are the top 10 worst, best, underrated, and overrated. I am considering a few other lists like scariest, funniest, and most influential; these lists I can't guarantee since I don't want it to feel like I'm harping on the same episodes over and over.

Other than that, I might add the review of the TZ film here rather than on my movie blog. I have considered going over the '80s revival show as well as the one from the early 2000s. The only problem is that I don't own those shows nor do I have much interest in them. You'd think TZ and the '80s would be awesome to me, but it's just the opposite. The episodes look cheap, and the stories are underwhelming to say the least. Likewise, the few episodes I did watch from the 2000s series did not channel TZ's form of storytelling. It was as if they wanted to make another shitty anthology show and figured they could score a few extra viewers by calling it "The Twilight Zone." That's not how it works. I don't know, I'll have to think about that a little harder. One way or another, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for those two shows.

Finally, I want to reiterate how fun TZ has been to watch from the true start all the way to the end. I've been watching episodes in random order my entire life with little to no understanding of what season each episode came from; I'm guessing a ton of fans have done the same too. Now I finally see things as they truly were and experienced the stories complete, free of butchering from networks to fit more godforsaken commercials into the time slot. Despite cancellation over 50 years ago, you can still feel TZ's impact on writers and within movies, books, and TV. If there was anything I hoped to get out of this blog, it would be to help preserve TZ's legacy one review at a time. I believe it's important to still talk about this show and keep it as a mainstay within pop culture due to its relevance, timelessness, and greatness. Also, if I managed to inspire even one new fan to discover this iconic show, then I have succeeded.

The Bewitchin' Pool

Description: Season 5, Episode 36

Air Date: June 19, 1964

Plot Summary: Two neglected children find a portal to another world beneath their swimming pool.

Review: The one thing that has always bothered me about TZ was the miserable conclusion to one of television's most legendary and iconic shows. After so many great stories--ideas so imaginative and original they're still being ripped off to this day--it's not right to close the show out for good with the objectively worst episode in the series. I mean, we have horrible audio dubbing, repeated footage, and a nonsensical, pedo-riffic story. Clearly the fates were working against TZ in this instance.

The story revolves around two annoying brats, their asshole dad, and the biggest bitch in the show's history for a mom. Seriously, I would have killed this bitch if I were married to such an insufferable diva. One line I really liked was when the dad tells the mom to take care of the kids, and she says that's what the maid is for. And this guy follows up with, "And what are you for, sugar?" OH SHIT! You got nothin', hun. Anyway, this loving family is shockingly about to go through a divorce. It's okay though, the kiddies have a creepy, old lady to hang out with that lives at the bottom of their pool. Well, more precisely, some kind of portal at the bottom of their pool leads to this geezer. It didn't help the already shit audio that this lady talks like she's perpetually itching to give a gumjob. Too far?

I guess this is supposed to be a kind of Peter Pan thing going on...maybe. Do the kids still age or not? I got the distinct feeling this crazy lady was just going to eat them anyway; she keeps giving them huge slices of cake after all! Also, there are a ton of kids that stay here, but what are they supposed to do, play games for the rest of their lives as immortal children? The main kids do travel back and forth between this oblivion and their home a few times, but, fundamentally, they decide to stay with grandma when everything is said and done. This is kind of an awkward choice if you think about it. Do you stay with horrible parents who will probably use you as a bargaining chip in a divorce or take your chances with a weird, old lady that probably wants to molest you before you're fat enough to eat? Hmm...decisions, decisions. Ugh. Needless to say, this episode is not good. Even the dumbest episodes had their shit together from a technical standpoint. I think I am extra bitter, because this was the final episode--an honor this episode disgraces.

The Fear

Description: Season 5, Episode 35

Air Date: May 29, 1964

Plot Summary: A state trooper and a fashion editor are tormented by, seemingly, giant aliens at a secluded cabin.

Review: The end is just on the horizon as we come to the second to last episode. Eh, the story here is a hit and miss. In one respect, I like the notion of aliens playing on your fears, but it's not fully realized. At the same time, the ending is completely nonsensical and outright stupid. We kick things off with a state trooper, checking in on a snobby, New York fashion editor. This bitch supposedly saw lights around her cabin, and the trooper wants to...uhh...verify this statement I guess. Sure enough, shenanigans begin to ensue with flashing lights and the trooper's car moving on it's own and crashing. At one point the car is flipped over, leaving behind gigantic fingerprints.

The banter between the trooper and the bitch are somewhat amusing, but everything feels contrived. In fact, this entire episode comes off similarly to a cornball, drive-in movie from the '50s. The dialogue is over the top and the scenes are overly dramatic in the worst of ways. If this were satire I'd say it was genius, but, unfortunately, it wasn't. Anyway, the two eventually come face to face with a huge footprint and an accompanying monstrous alien. The trooper decides the best course of action is to shoot at it--because why not--and the two realize it was nothing more than a balloon. As it turns out, the aliens are quite tiny and were trying to scare the couple...in a ploy to take over the world? Yeah, sure, whatever.

The main reason why this episode fails is due to sheer idiocy. Ignoring the fact that the plot is merely the reverse of "The Invaders," the scheme of the aliens is implausibly moronic. You have super advanced technology yet you need to "scare" humans to defeat them? Just blow shit up! And why this couple? Were they somehow going to spread the word? If they were test subjects, try another test...or blow shit up. The execution was not working at all when the ingredients for a decent episode were more than present.