In Praise of Pip

Description: Season 5, Episode 1

Air Date: September 27, 1963

Plot Summary: After learning that his son is dying in the Vietnam War, a man believes he sees his son as a child again.

Review: We've arrived at the fifth and final season, but there are still plenty of great episodes left to cover. As I've stated before, TZ only deviated from its typical formula for season 4, so we have the return of concise, 30 minute tales. As for this particular season premiere, it could have been better that's for sure. Serving as the last appearance from Jack Klugman, you'd hope for a more interesting episode for him to stretch his legs with. Also, considering the controversial aspects of the Vietnam War at this point, you'd think TZ would work with the material in a more thought-provoking way.

The story focuses on a bookie named Max, played by Mr. Klugman, right as he's coming to terms with the fact that his life has been fundamentally wasted. Obviously his biggest regret is not being there for his son, Pip, in a meaningful way. The self-reflection is done well enough, but there is just something amiss in the execution. Anyway, Max is apathetic toward a guy he conned, but his attitude changes when he learns Pip appears to have been fatally wounded in battle. This is surprisingly a violent scene for TZ--Max is shot after stabbing his boss and one of the boss' flunkies, because they were roughing up the guy Max conned. Max then aimlessly wanders toward an amusement park he took Pip to when he was young. There, Pip's spirit somehow manifests as a child, played by Billy Mumy in another appearance. The two are having fun for awhile as Max brushes this sight off due to the delirium induced by the gunshot wound. However, Pip suddenly runs away, and the two run around in a funhouse. Pip says he must go, the adult version appearing to die, and Max is left with only regret that he wasn't there for his son. Begging god for some kind of exchange, Max dies and Pip miraculously survives. We skip to sometime later with a crippled Pip going back to the amusement park and seemingly remembering the bizarre last instance of meeting Max.

I'm mostly disappointed that they didn't do more with this plot line. The were many elements that could have been utilized in a meaningful way, but, maybe, they were afraid of retreading covered material. This isn't a bad episode, it just doesn't work all that well as the season opener.

The Bard

Description: Season 4, Episode 18

Air Date: May 23, 1963

Plot Summary: A fledgling writer uses a magic spell to summon Shakespeare to assist him in writing a TV pilot.

Review: And now we come to the last episode of season 4 as well as the end to the hour long running time. I'm not going to lie, season 4 was undeniably the weakest season overall, but I don't hold that against TZ. The writers had to scramble to come up with these stories, adjust their style and format, and deal with the idiocy that was/is CBS. As for this particular episode, serving as a season finale, it could have been much better. This is yet another comedic episode, but it's certainly a hit or miss in regards to that comedy.

The main character, the ridiculously named Julius Moomer, tries and fails to pitch various ideas to his agent. Feeling pity for Julius, the agent allows him a chance to write a script for an upcoming TV pilot. Since the producers want a story about "black magic" Julius heads to a bookstore where he meets a nutcase and a spell book literally jumps out at him. Improvising the spell ingredients, Julius somehow conjures up William Shakespeare in the flesh. I guess Shakespeare has been keeping up on modern times, somehow, and agrees to write up the pilot for Julius. I didn't find any of this funny.

Later on, the humor does pick up once we see TZ take shots at the way advertisers meddle in the production, how ideas are altered for superficial and stupid reasons, and how the industry is, and always will be, full of yes-men. The best part, however, is when Shakespeare crashes the rehearsal for the pilot. You've got Burt Reynolds doing his best impersonation of Brando, and it's hilariously accurate! This scene alone almost made the episode great! After Shakespeare voices his disapproval of the pilot, he essentially quits on Julius. Consulting, what looks to be, his twelve year old girlfriend, Julius decides to conjure up more people to help him write. The episode ends with Julius showing the agent his new friends: a slew of historical figures ranging from Washington to Lincoln. Ehh, I guess that's as good of an ending as any. Admittedly, there were funny moments, but, for the most part, this episode comes off more stupid than anything. I'm considering this for the worst episode list, but that Brando impersonation is priceless--maybe I'll have to reconsider.

Passage on the Lady Anne

Description: Season 4, Episode 17

Air Date: May 9, 1963

Plot Summary: A couple, whose marriage is on the rocks, decide to take a trip aboard an old cruise ship.

Review: This story may have the distinction of being the least TZ-feeling episode in the entire series. If anything, this was TZ's answer to a serious, romantic drama. They do tack on an ambiguously supernatural element toward the end, and an ongoing mystery throughout, but that's definitely not what this episode is about. You have the main characters, Alan and Eileen, who decide to go on an alleged honeymoon (6 years into the marriage mind you) aboard a cruise ship called, you guessed it, the Lady Anne. The problem is that Alan is a complete asshole and Eileen is a whiny bitch. I wanted to throw them both overboard. Despite this, the banter between the characters is rather entertaining and downright humorous at times. It helps that much of the supporting cast do a fantastic job of playing off one another with great chemistry.

Much of the story focuses on Alan and Eileen trying to rekindle their love. Eileen thought that the voyage itself would spark romance, but Alan is too worried about business dealings that await him. The two argue a lot until they start to question their entire marriage. Psh...they would have divorced years ago if this were nowaday. The situation is exacerbated by the other passengers who are old people that seem to spend way too much time dwelling on their own romances and losses. I suppose this was intended to inspire Alan and Eileen but whatever. At one point Eileen mysteriously disappears and Alan inexplicably realizes how much he loves Eileen again. Is that really all it took? The disappearance is never explained as Alan finds her the next day or so. It's greatly implied they fucked like crazy afterward as a result! With their romance magically restored, the two become fully invested in enjoying their trip.

So what makes any of this a TZ episode? It would seem Alan and Eileen inadvertently booked their voyage on a ship nearing retirement. As a consequence, the crew and passengers have decided to kill themselves or travel into oblivion for all I know; it's not clear at all. Over the years, many couples have grown sentimental and attached to the ship. As they and the ship have aged, the old people want their memories to go out with a bang. Unfortunately for Alan and Eileen, no one told them this ahead of time. There are sprinkles of shadiness here and there, and the old people do try to deter the couple from sailing with them, but it feels forced to fit the TZ theme. When Alan and Eileen have patched up their relationship, the old people force them onto a life boat so that they can freely travel to Aman with the elves or something. And that's all that happens. Lame romances really aren't my cup of tea, but the episode is saved by the dialogue and banter. I'm just surprised TZ didn't try harder to make the episode fit their regular tone. If you saw this on TV without the narration from Mr. Serling you would never guess what this was truly from.