The Grave

Description: Season 3, Episode 7

Air Date: October 27, 1961

Plot Summary: After an outlaw is killed, his pursuer is challenged to visit the grave alone.

Review: The only thing really holding this episode back is that it feels short and shallow; it needed an extra plot line to fill things out or something. Despite this emptiness, I love that the episode is presented like a classic ghost story you would imagine being told around a fire. Even the style looked moody with a few ominous images such as the outlaw's sister at his grave. Lee Van Cleef is also here in a minor supporting role; people may remember him for his iconic role as the "bad" part of "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."

All that happens is the people of a random town are forced to shoot a local outlaw that has been annoying them or something; we don't get a ton of back story regarding the outlaw. Typically the townspeople would not do such a thing, but they are tired of waiting for the bounty hunter-ish guy they hired to seal the deal. When this man shows up, named Conny, he questions the situation that led to the outlaw's death; in fact, way too much time is spent talking about the circumstances of the death rather than what led up to everything. A few of the locals believe Conny is a coward and was too afraid to fight the outlaw. The outlaw's sister believes this as well and she antagonizes Conny. Apparently the outlaw has sworn ghostly revenge should Conny have the courage to go to his grave; they claim his hand will reach up out of the ground to kill Conny. Growing tired of everyone questioning his courage, Conny is challenged to visit the outlaw's grave. The only caveat is that Conny must place a specific knife into the grave in order to prove he went there.

Sure enough, Conny works up the confidence to visit the grave, but he is startled by the outlaw's sister and every little bump in the night. After placing the knife into the grave, and attempting to run away like a bitch, Conny is shown being pulled backward. The next morning, the locals believe Conny backed out of the wager, but they realize his horse and supplies are still there. Working up their own courage, they investigate if the ghost story could be real after all. When the locals go to the grave they find Conny dead. One of the locals believes that what must have happened was Conny accidentally stabbed the knife into his own coat, then, when he went to leave, he became so scared of the pullback that he had a heart attack. The outlaw's sister claims that the wind was blowing in the opposite direction that night and Conny's coat couldn't have been caught in the knife. The episode ends with the sister cackling like a lunatic as we are left to wonder if it really was the ghost or not. Overall, not too bad. There was room to make things better, and cover more material than 15 minutes of arguing about who said what. but this can be forgiven considering that's probably how a classic ghost story would play out.

A haunting image to be sure:

The Mirror

Description: Season 3, Episode 6

Air Date: October 20, 1961

Plot Summary: A dictator believes he can see the true identity of his assassins in a mirror.

Review: This is another one of the worst episodes which is unfortunate since it starred Columbo himself, Peter Falk. Besides the story blatantly mirroring (see what I did there) Castro's rise to power, there isn't much going on. All that happens is a rebel leader and his flunkies overtake the current dictator in order to establish their own regime. The former dictator knows these rebels will end up as corrupt as him, but he also mentions a dumb story about a magic mirror. The new dictator doesn't take long to start going apeshit as he is paranoid and hot tempered. For some reason, the new dictator sees his flunky friends trying to kill him in the mirror so he executes them in advance as a precaution. Once he has gone mad with power, and all his flunkies are dead, the dictator ends up killing himself. Uh...okay. And that's all that really happens. I get what they were going for, but it's not a readily applicable lesson. Plus, come on, we're at the point where all dictators are essentially puppets one way or another. Nice try, TZ, but on to the next one.

A Game of Pool

Description: Season 3, Episode 5

Air Date: October 13, 1961

Plot Summary: A would-be contender's life is in the balance after he challenges the ghost of a legendary player to a game of pool.

Review: As I've stated before, this is one of my favorite episodes for numerous reasons. The chemistry and acting from Jack Klugman and Jonathan Winters are awesome; you genuinely feel this bitter mentor/student relationship. On top of that, the lessons and themes presented are universal to virtually any era or situation. Although the '80s TZ uses the original, intended ending, I prefer this version as it adds another theme to consider; that of being careful what you wish for. This episode also demonstrates that you can have nothing more than two characters bantering, and it can still be incredible without flashy effects or crazy twists.

We meet Jessie, who is obsessed with pool, and has grown wary of others comparing him to a long-since dead legend, Fats Brown. It doesn't take a psychiatrist to see that Jesse is more interested in pool, not for the fun, but because it's an outlet that allows him to feel special and accomplished. As we learn, Jesse has felt inferior his whole life until he discovered his affinity for the game of pool; it's this inferiority complex that has driven him to become the best--to be noticed and beloved the way Fats is revered. But besides being angry at the comparisons to Fats, we see that Jesse spends every waking moment practicing and has devoted all of his time to the game at the cost of truly experiencing life. Anyway, Jesse, crazily talking to himself, wishes he could play Fats in order to prove his superiority.

As it would turn out, Fats is obligated to defend his title as the best, even in the afterlife, and appears to Jesse so as to accept the challenge. Getting over the initial shock, Jesse wants to play Fats, but Fats will only play him under the condition that his life hangs in the balance. Goading Jesse on by telling him the best would take risks, Fats eventually convinces Jesse to accept the terms: one game of straight pool, first to 300 points. The two begin by showboating a bit which is cool to see; crazy pool shots are always fun to see. As the story goes along, Jesse is way ahead until Fats starts to bust out the real skills. Toward the end, after continual banter, the score is Jesse at 299 and Fats at 296. Screwing up, Jesse gives Fats the chance to tie things up.

This is where I'm still not sure what was Fats' true aim in this scenario. Fats tries to screw Jesse up with the final shot as he lectures Jesse on what it truly means to be a champion and the best. Fats makes a poignant argument about how legends serve as a challenge to keep setting the bar higher in any walk of life. But Fats further explains how he didn't obsess over pool, and lived a normal life to the fullest. Jesse doesn't care about any of this as he is set up to win and take on the mantle as the best. Right before Jesse takes the final shot, Fats warns him he may win more than he bargained for. Ignoring this, Jesse takes the final shot and wins--he has become the best. Fats thanks Jesse for beating him, which confuses Jesse, but Jesse is too focused on his victory and finally being the absolute best at something. Unfortunately for Jesse, by becoming the best, when he is dead, he too must forever accept challenges; apparently the legends are forced to go on proving they're the best until someone does defeat them.

So, as I was alluding to, I don't get Fats' agenda. See, if Fats was trying to make Jesse learn a lesson, why did he appear to miss a shot on purpose and perfectly set Jess up to win? I know he wanted to be replaced, but then why try and reach Jesse at all? If Fats felt sorry for Jesse, why not simply beat him when he had the chance. I think what would have made this setup come together better would have been Fats' monologue earlier. Seeing he couldn't reach Jesse's sensibilities, Fats offers one final out by setting Jesse up to win but explaining the caveat that he'd win more than he bargained for. Eh, this is a minor nitpick, but it has bothered me as the one thing that stops this episode from being perfect.

Overall, this is a fantastic episode with universal appeal despite it simply being about a game of pool on the surface. Humanity's competitive nature is represented at its finest in this story compared to the current age where we give out participation awards. Sorry, but we are not all winners and it diminishes the accomplishments when we do succeed. Plus, defeat teaches humility--a trait sorely lacking in the average person. This desire to be famous, special, unique, whatever the hell, has become grossly out of control in this narcissistic society as well. I think a lot of people could learn a lesson or two from this episode.