Black Leather Jackets

Description: Season 5, Episode 18

Air Date: January 31, 1964

Plot Summary: Three strange men move into a suburban neighborhood to cover up their sinister motives.

Review: I think this has to be added to the worst episode list by default, because the story just comes to an abrupt ending with no real point to anything. It's truly bizarre since I can't think of another episode that compares to this one and its lack of closure or a twist. We have three aliens who take the form of greasers which is kind of ridiculous if you're trying to be inconspicuous. The aliens are plotting to--what else--take over the world with a little bitch tactic of poisoning the water supply.

For whatever reason, one of the aliens takes an interest in the girl next door. Hey, even aliens just want the girl next door types. Within, I want to say, a couple hours, this alien is already saying he's in love with the girl next door, and she likes that. Oh goodness gracious. Couldn't they have just done a small time lapse to make their interest in one another feel plausible? The other aliens don't like this whole fraternizing with the enemy idea, but the guy still wants to bang this chick so he tries to warn her of the invasion plan. When he's not believed, the guy tries to convince their leader--who appears to be a big eye--to stop the invasion. Of course the leader says hell no. Just when the story is about to pick up, the cops come to arrest the alien guy, as they too are aliens conveniently, and then the episode suddenly ends. Mr. Serling says something about don't drink any water, but come on, son! That's no way to end a story. If this didn't feel like half an episode, it wouldn't have been too bad. However, this is a rushed plot that is both nonsensical and stupid when all things are considered.

Number 12 Looks Just Like You

Description: Season 5, Episode 17

Air Date: January 24, 1964

Plot Summary: In the future all young adults must undergo a physical transformation that removes individual identity.

Review: I guess this episode is mid-level classic? I mean, it gets recognition, but I find it's often overlooked in best episode lists. Nevertheless, they surprisingly pack a lot of issues into this story that expand upon ideas proposed in "The Trade-Ins." While "The Trade-Ins" focused on old people becoming young, this episode tackles the younger side of the equation but adds in themes regarding conformity, individualism, identity, and a subtle, totalitarian regime.

Upon turning 18, the main girl, Marilyn, is given a small window of time in which to decide how she will "transform." This transformation involves picking a chosen body she will be shaped into; in other words, there are a handful of models, and you must pick which one you will become. Marilyn is conflicted since she likes the way she looks, and no one can give a good reason why she must change. Marilyn is presented well enough as she questions the status quo, and we realize how disturbing this future truly is. The state has declared ugliness to be a trait that leads to war, but it is subtly shown that any kind of individualism is what is truly banned. It's kind of like "Gattaca" on steroids.

Beyond simply standardizing looks, you are given an extended life with vitality. However, the heavy cost also involves a kind of brainwashing that makes you vapid and shallow, incapable of free thought. Marilyn cannot convey rational thought or questioning into the minds of those that have transformed. There is also the idea that people get married many, many times with their long lives. I think TZ wanted to say people do a lot of random fucking but couldn't get away with that; there are a whole lot of winks going on to the audience. Toward the end, Marilyn reveals that her father committed suicide after he transformed since he couldn't take the loss of his identity. Honestly, there's a lot of heavy shit going on that I wish could have been fleshed out in season 4's one hour block. Perhaps the biggest statement of all is that the episode does end with Marilyn receiving the transformation and becomes a complete airhead immediately after. Even Mr. Serling's closing is a bit somber as he mentions that one should put a question mark after calling this future impossible.

Overall, this is a great episode with a lot of material to consider. The concepts are universal and worth considering in any time or society. They don't explain if these same models apply to the whole world or not, but I shudder at the idea of a world with no busty Asian beauties (am I right, Dean?)! As much as I would love to say this future is impossible, I just don't know anymore. Humanity has become (or always was) weak-minded and shallow and would easily go for this bullshit if it meant living longer and staying young. For me, I always stick to advice from Mark Twain: Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross

Description: Season 5, Episode 16

Air Date: January 17, 1964

Plot Summary: A hothead discovers he has the power to exchange any of his traits with others.

Review: This is definitely one of the weirdest episode of TZ, and I can hardly remember watching this one before. I really don't understand how the premise is supposed to work, but I guess we must simply roll with it. The titular Salvadore Ross is an aggressive asshole who is both bitter that he's not successful and that he cannot have his dream girl, Leah. Although, Sal baby, why would you want to marry a chick who openly says she wants a guy exactly like her dad? That's just begging for problems and creepy as hell. Anyway, being the hothead that he is, Sal punches a door when Leah and her father tell him to go away. Breaking his hand from this action, Sal ends up in a hospital where he discovers his inexplicable power to swap characteristics with an individual. His first unsatisfied customer is a guy who says he'd rather have Sal's broken hand than a cold which the two do swap.

Immediately embracing his newfound power without further testing, Salvadore gives all of his youth to his old, yet rich, employer in exchange for the employer's fortune. As an old man, Salvadore manages to convince younger people to sell him their youth tiny bits at a time until he's completely young again. I love how no one questions any of this along the way...not even Sal. Once more trying to win over Leah, Sal realizes he really can't compete with good ol' dad which comes off creepier and creepier. Putting the icing on the creep-factor cake, Sal manages to buy the dad's personality traits to make himself a nicer guy. Big shock, Leah falls totally in love! Seriously, think about this--Leah admits she wants a guy just like her dad and finally falls for a guy once he actually adopts the dad's personality. Sal is an asshole, but this chick is nuts! By the end, the dad decides to shoot and kill Sal--since he never liked Sal to begin with--and he's no longer inhibited by his good nature. And that's all she wrote. The story here is just so bizarre. Nothing gets explained regarding this supernatural ability, how it works, or why Sal would have never discovered it sooner. Everything with Sal, Leah, and the dad is plain disturbing even for '64. What the hell was going on with this episode?