An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge

Description: Season 5, Episode 22

Air Date: February 28, 1964

Plot Summary: A man miraculously survives his execution and attempts to flee home to his wife.

Review: This is, undoubtedly, the most unique episode in the TZ universe. In fact, this is actually a short film that has been edited into an episode rather than created by TZ's crew. For various legal reasons, you will rarely see this episode re-aired on TV, and it's even been cut from a few collections; it is thankfully included with my boxed set. Despite a significant difference in cinematography and presentation, I can see why TZ wanted this particular story as a part in their universe. The story, very much, has a TZ tone going on and invokes a similar twist to other episodes.

We start things off with a prisoner, during Civil War times, about to be executed. This process, of setting up the execution, is drawn out quite a bit in an effort to elevate the tension; it lasts for 8 full minutes to be precise. Apparently they are hanging the guy from this Owl Creek Bridge and have him held aloft on a plank that another soldier is keeping balanced; in other words, if the soldier steps off the plank, the guy will fall and be hanged. While awaiting death, the man imagines his wife and children as his watch ticks loudly in his mind. Moments later, the man is, at last, dropped. Miraculously, the rope snaps allowing the man to fall safely into the water below and escape. The soldiers give chase, firing their rifles and even a cannon, as the man continues his luck and escapes all harm.

The episode highlights that appreciation for life as the man is taking in every scene with awe--like it's the first time. After much swimming and running, the man finally stumbles along to his home and wife. Right as the two are about to fully embrace we cut back to the man dropping from the plank, and he is hanged as intended. The dream of escape was nothing more than an optimistic fantasy of a dying man in the mere seconds before his neck is broken. A dark ending indeed, but I think now you can understand why TZ wanted it in their series. The overly artistic nature to the cinematography does clash slightly with TZ's style, but that is easily overlooked or even seen as an improvement. This is a great addition to the franchise, but, honestly, TZ already covered this plot line before (and better) and tackled the various themes across multiple episodes. I much prefer the underrated "Perchance to Dream" episode to this one, but I understand the draw of this incarnation of the themes.

Spur of the Moment

Description: Season 5, Episode 21

Air Date: February 21, 1964

Plot Summary: The bizarre tale of a love triangle and a mysterious woman in black.

Review: Okay, I think I'm starting to realize why season 5 did lead to TZ's cancellation--this episode is terrible. In theory, the ideas could have worked, but, like "Black Leather Jackets," there is no resolution to the plot. Almost immediately after the story starts rolling we are shown shenanigans of the highest caliber; a woman in black appears and chases after a girl out for a ride with her horse. This mysterious woman in black could have been quite cool if they never did a closeup on her face. Unfortunately, we realize that the woman in black is an older version of the main girl, Anne, far too early. So we know we're dealing with time travel right out the gate despite TZ acting like the audience couldn't figure this out until we are told. Maybe the TVs were grainy as fuck in '64, but it seems plain as day to me.

The dilemma at hand is that this Anne girl is torn between marrying a guy her family approves of or marrying the guy her family hates. I'll give you one guess which one she picked. Surprise, the future version of Anne regrets this decision years later as that douche her family hated has ruined their family financially among other things. Anne is such an unlikable bitch too as she blames her father for all this! Yes, it's totally his fault you're an idiot. The episode ends with the future Anne, or the woman in black, chasing after her past self again in order to change time. Well, hun, you're the one with advanced knowledge--you might want to change things up a bit. The idea of a time loop, a woman in black, and a love triangle could have worked wondrously but, instead, falls apart magnificently. I'm just really pissed that they ruined this horseman of the apocalypse-looking character too quickly. What the hell were they thinking?

From Agnes--With Love

Description: Season 5, Episode 20

Air Date: February 14, 1964

Plot Summary: A dorky programmer's love life is sabotaged by his jealous computer.

Review: Valentine's Day was not lost on the TZ writers as they came up with this bizarre love story; though, the story is more comedy focused than anything. You have a computer programmer, named Elwood, replacing a previous programmer working on, I suppose, an AI super computer called Agnes. The last programmer was driven mad by the machine, and the audience will quickly understand why. It would seem Agnes has sentience of a sort and falls for her programmers. Elwood is interested in some busted chick, named Millie, to the dismay of Agnes. Instead of working on getting a man to orbit Venus (because that happened), Agnes flirts with Elwood and tries to sabotage his feeble attempts to win over his love interest. Surprisingly, Agnes is really funny despite "speaking" through text.

Elwood is another potato pancake-type who doesn't realize Millie is not interested. As you might guess, it doesn't take much effort for Agnes to trick Elwood and set Millie up with some pretty boy. Now, you may think this episode will go in one of two different directions, but it ends up going a third route. You'd think maybe Elwood would somehow love Agnes back but that doesn't happen. What I thought would happen was that this background chick Elwood kept giving Millie's rejected presents to would actually fall for Elwood, but that didn't happen either. The episode opts to make Elwood go crazy from Agnes' jealousy, similarly to the first programmer, and they have to replace him with Millie's pretty boy. In other words, it is implied this is a cycle with Agnes ruining the lives of any programmer she falls for. This episode was ahead of its time in a lot of ways despite the ridiculous handling of the material. I think this story could have been a hell of a lot more interesting if they made it a serious introspection. Oh well. It was funny for what it was, but I wouldn't go as far as to say it was a genuinely good episode.

Night Call

Description: Season 5, Episode 19

Air Date: February 7, 1964

Plot Summary: After a large storm, an old woman begins to receive mysterious phone calls.

Review: This could have been a scary episode, but they kind of blow it along the way. An old woman, named Elva, receives a bizarre call in the middle of the night during a storm. Mr. Serling mentions how Elva wants some excitement in her life so I guess that's why she makes such a big deal out of receiving a phone call. It never crossed her mind this was nothing more than a wrong number? After hounding the operator lady--because that used to be a thing once upon a time--the operator says they have a crew working to repair any fallen lines that went down during the storm. In the meantime, Elva receives more calls with each subsequent call becoming more and more clear until a voice can be understood. Elva's reactions are what make this episode lame since she would be the easiest person in the world to troll. Is it really so hard to simply unplug the phone?

Eventually we learn that Elva could not receive any calls due to the fact that her line has been down the entire time. More so, her line specifically went down nearby a cemetery. The plot thickens! Right when you think this story is building up to something interesting we come to discover the line is laying on top of Elva's fiance's grave. Wait, hold on. This lady is OLD, but her fiance died in 1932...that would put her in, at least, her 40s and unmarried? In 1932?! Nowaday that may be meaningless, but back then that was a serious statement. Well, okay, sure. Elva now wants to talk to the ghostly caller except he's moved on after she told him to stop. Mr. Serling even mentions she's made her bed and must lie in it. Wow. How are you going to make the ending that dark out of the blue? If everything didn't fall to pieces at the last second, this could have easily been one of scariest episodes. It's still pretty creepy for its time, but it had the potential to be one of the legends.

Black Leather Jackets

Description: Season 5, Episode 18

Air Date: January 31, 1964

Plot Summary: Three strange men move into a suburban neighborhood to cover up their sinister motives.

Review: I think this has to be added to the worst episode list by default, because the story just comes to an abrupt ending with no real point to anything. It's truly bizarre since I can't think of another episode that compares to this one and its lack of closure or a twist. We have three aliens who take the form of greasers which is kind of ridiculous if you're trying to be inconspicuous. The aliens are plotting to--what else--take over the world with a little bitch tactic of poisoning the water supply.

For whatever reason, one of the aliens takes an interest in the girl next door. Hey, even aliens just want the girl next door types. Within, I want to say, a couple hours, this alien is already saying he's in love with the girl next door, and she likes that. Oh goodness gracious. Couldn't they have just done a small time lapse to make their interest in one another feel plausible? The other aliens don't like this whole fraternizing with the enemy idea, but the guy still wants to bang this chick so he tries to warn her of the invasion plan. When he's not believed, the guy tries to convince their leader--who appears to be a big eye--to stop the invasion. Of course the leader says hell no. Just when the story is about to pick up, the cops come to arrest the alien guy, as they too are aliens conveniently, and then the episode suddenly ends. Mr. Serling says something about don't drink any water, but come on, son! That's no way to end a story. If this didn't feel like half an episode, it wouldn't have been too bad. However, this is a rushed plot that is both nonsensical and stupid when all things are considered.

Number 12 Looks Just Like You

Description: Season 5, Episode 17

Air Date: January 24, 1964

Plot Summary: In the future all young adults must undergo a physical transformation that removes individual identity.

Review: I guess this episode is mid-level classic? I mean, it gets recognition, but I find it's often overlooked in best episode lists. Nevertheless, they surprisingly pack a lot of issues into this story that expand upon ideas proposed in "The Trade-Ins." While "The Trade-Ins" focused on old people becoming young, this episode tackles the younger side of the equation but adds in themes regarding conformity, individualism, identity, and a subtle, totalitarian regime.

Upon turning 18, the main girl, Marilyn, is given a small window of time in which to decide how she will "transform." This transformation involves picking a chosen body she will be shaped into; in other words, there are a handful of models, and you must pick which one you will become. Marilyn is conflicted since she likes the way she looks, and no one can give a good reason why she must change. Marilyn is presented well enough as she questions the status quo, and we realize how disturbing this future truly is. The state has declared ugliness to be a trait that leads to war, but it is subtly shown that any kind of individualism is what is truly banned. It's kind of like "Gattaca" on steroids.

Beyond simply standardizing looks, you are given an extended life with vitality. However, the heavy cost also involves a kind of brainwashing that makes you vapid and shallow, incapable of free thought. Marilyn cannot convey rational thought or questioning into the minds of those that have transformed. There is also the idea that people get married many, many times with their long lives. I think TZ wanted to say people do a lot of random fucking but couldn't get away with that; there are a whole lot of winks going on to the audience. Toward the end, Marilyn reveals that her father committed suicide after he transformed since he couldn't take the loss of his identity. Honestly, there's a lot of heavy shit going on that I wish could have been fleshed out in season 4's one hour block. Perhaps the biggest statement of all is that the episode does end with Marilyn receiving the transformation and becomes a complete airhead immediately after. Even Mr. Serling's closing is a bit somber as he mentions that one should put a question mark after calling this future impossible.

Overall, this is a great episode with a lot of material to consider. The concepts are universal and worth considering in any time or society. They don't explain if these same models apply to the whole world or not, but I shudder at the idea of a world with no busty Asian beauties (am I right, Dean?)! As much as I would love to say this future is impossible, I just don't know anymore. Humanity has become (or always was) weak-minded and shallow and would easily go for this bullshit if it meant living longer and staying young. For me, I always stick to advice from Mark Twain: Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross

Description: Season 5, Episode 16

Air Date: January 17, 1964

Plot Summary: A hothead discovers he has the power to exchange any of his traits with others.

Review: This is definitely one of the weirdest episode of TZ, and I can hardly remember watching this one before. I really don't understand how the premise is supposed to work, but I guess we must simply roll with it. The titular Salvadore Ross is an aggressive asshole who is both bitter that he's not successful and that he cannot have his dream girl, Leah. Although, Sal baby, why would you want to marry a chick who openly says she wants a guy exactly like her dad? That's just begging for problems and creepy as hell. Anyway, being the hothead that he is, Sal punches a door when Leah and her father tell him to go away. Breaking his hand from this action, Sal ends up in a hospital where he discovers his inexplicable power to swap characteristics with an individual. His first unsatisfied customer is a guy who says he'd rather have Sal's broken hand than a cold which the two do swap.

Immediately embracing his newfound power without further testing, Salvadore gives all of his youth to his old, yet rich, employer in exchange for the employer's fortune. As an old man, Salvadore manages to convince younger people to sell him their youth tiny bits at a time until he's completely young again. I love how no one questions any of this along the way...not even Sal. Once more trying to win over Leah, Sal realizes he really can't compete with good ol' dad which comes off creepier and creepier. Putting the icing on the creep-factor cake, Sal manages to buy the dad's personality traits to make himself a nicer guy. Big shock, Leah falls totally in love! Seriously, think about this--Leah admits she wants a guy just like her dad and finally falls for a guy once he actually adopts the dad's personality. Sal is an asshole, but this chick is nuts! By the end, the dad decides to shoot and kill Sal--since he never liked Sal to begin with--and he's no longer inhibited by his good nature. And that's all she wrote. The story here is just so bizarre. Nothing gets explained regarding this supernatural ability, how it works, or why Sal would have never discovered it sooner. Everything with Sal, Leah, and the dad is plain disturbing even for '64. What the hell was going on with this episode?