Ryan's Twilight Zone Reviews
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.
Friday, April 10, 2020
The Twilight Zone: Rod Serling's Lost Classics Review
Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: Two old scripts written by Rod Serling that were adapted for TV in the '90s.
Review: In fairness, only one of these "lost classics" could be considered a TZ episode; that being the first segment. The second segment doesn't really fit the design of a TZ episode which is why many say it's closer to an episode of "Night Gallery." Nevertheless, how do these tales stack up against the series proper? Well, they're nothing to write home about and would have been considered middle of the road to me. It's not that they're bad stories--they're just on the boring side with nothing unique to them. Both tales tackle subjects discussed in previous episodes that were done better then. Still, there is some entertainment to be had so let's take a look, shall we?
The Theatre: This story does feel TZ-ish so it does have that going for it. A woman, named Melissa, fears getting married to her doctor fiance for whatever reason. The significance of this plot point appears relevant, but I'm just not seeing it. Melissa makes plans for a movie festival, but, instead of playing the movie, she sees events from her life and the future on the screen. Had this vision of the future connected to her potential marriage then things might have made sense, however, the future depicts her dying in a cartoonish manner in the coming days. Compelled to return to the theater, Melissa sees more of her future until she becomes fearful of her imminent death. But just when you think Melissa is about to die, the events do not occur as shown. Whew. Oh, wait, both our main characters are fucking retards who didn't know what day it was, and the exact same scenario happens again the next night and Melissa does die. Uhhh...okaaaay. Your twist should not hinge on two clueless idiots forgetting what day it is. The story ends with the fiance experiencing the same phenomenon when he goes to the theater. While the conclusion is lackluster, the ambiance to the episode is decent. Plus, the fiance is played by Lumbergh of all people!
Where the Dead Are: For the second story we get an interesting premise, but it meanders about far too long and becomes boring. Some time after the Civil War, a guy named Dr. Ramsey performs surgery on a mysterious man who dies. This man had scars from injuries he couldn't have possibly survived which intrigues Ramsey to find the doctor that treated him. Heading off to a creepy island, Ramsey discovers the townsfolk here are being kept immortal by a doctor named Wheaton. It would appear Wheaton has discovered the literal cure for death, however, this has made the islanders evil as they never want to die and are dependent on this miracle cure. In fact, they have cut off Wheaton's legs so he can't escape. This reveal of the cut off legs was done poorly. This plot point bothered me since they make up an excuse for the cutoff legs at first when they could have easily said Wheaton was wheelchair-bound without explanation; it really took away the impact later.
Well, contrivances abound as Ramsey showed up just in time for this entire immortality scheme to come crumbling down. It actually kind of makes Ramsey's involvement irrelevant. In fact, it makes you question why that first guy even showed up at Ramsey's hospital considering the islanders want to be near Wheaton. What an oversight. Anyway, the islanders all die without this miracle cure, Wheaton dies, and we come to realize that Ramsey's love interest was also staying alive from this miraculous formula. In the end, Ramsey realizes that death is an important part of life that he must accept, and that people are better off never knowing what happened. Eh, this story would have been better had Ramsey set the events into motion rather than showing up at just the right time. I mean, had he showed up a week later everyone on the island probably would have been dead anyhow.
Having reviewed every episode of the original series for perspective, I can't imagine these tales would have been received any better if made during the show's initial run. Granted, the '60s budget limits could have led to changes for the better, but we will never know how they would have looked if filmed at that time. I do think hardcore fans should give this movie a view but keep the expectations in check. Casual viewers will probably be disappointed since this isn't even a true anthology movie.
Notable Moment: When Melissa is having burger time. Mmmmm...burger time...
Final Rating: 5.5/10
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Top 10 Best Twilight Zone Episodes
This was, by far, the most difficult list to assemble. There are simply too many fantastic and legendary episodes in this series that narrowing it down to only 10 was extremely hard. Due to this elimination process, many classics had to be left off, and I don't entirely love episodes that the critics favor anyway. If you're curious about any particular episode you can always check out my full reviews for each. Of course, these are my personal opinions, and, if you have a problem with that, I'm sure there is a hugbox somewhere you can retreat to. Now, without further ado, I present the best episodes of the Twilight Zone!
Usually I will go through each honorable mention and explain why they missed the cut, but, this time, there were so many I'm simply listing all the possible contenders. Suffice it to say, each episode that didn't make it was just shy of the number 10 spot for tiny reasons. I consider all the honorable mentions to be amazing episodes worthy of high praise.
Honorable Mentions (in no particular order): A Penny for Your Thoughts, A World of His Own, A World of Difference, The Howling Man, A Stop at Willoughby, People Are Alike All Over, Perchance to Dream, The Night of the Meek, The Obsolete Man, The New Exhibit, Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, The Monsters are Due on Maple Street, I Shot an Arrow Into the Air, Twenty Two
10: Nick of Time (Season 2, Episode 7)
Kicking things off would be my most contentious pick. Realistically, any honorable mention could have fit this slot, but I had to go with something. What's so great about this episode is the dark, paranoid tone enhanced by tremendous intrigue. The fear the characters experience is palpable as they don't know if the events are truly supernatural or they're seeing what they want to see. William Shatner adds a lot of conviction to the main role back when he still cared about his acting. The escalation of the events might be a tad fast, but this story hits all the right notes.
9: The Masks (Season 5, Episode 25)
Though it's not subtle at all, the symbolism here is awesome. This episode addresses the superficial masks people use to hide their true selves. But, in typical, TZ fashion, the characters are forced to confront their true selves when the masks come off both literally and figuratively. On top of that, you have the whole Mardi Gras angle that spices things up too. It's hard to address what makes this episode spectacular in just a mere paragraph so check it out for yourself!
8: Eye of the Beholder (Season 2, Episode 6)
An obvious classic, "Eye of the Beholder" is more than just an episode, it's a general statement about life itself. Exploring themes about what constitutes normalcy, conformity, totalitarianism, etc. this episode goes all over the place quite successfully. This is, of course, not to ignore the wondrous use of camera trickery and an infamous twist. Honestly, few episodes in the series are able to pull off so many incredible plot elements simultaneously. This episode definitely deserves its place among the classics and certainly has its place in TZ 101: essential viewing.
7: A Most Unusual Camera (Season 2, Episode 10)
You really can't go wrong with this amazing episode that seamlessly blends horror and humor. The premise is already cool with a camera that shows the future, but the way the characters banter about its usage is what seals the deal. One minute you are laughing from the jokes, but, at the same time, you're on edge with what the camera will show after a picture is taken. The way this episode was put together is nearly perfect from start to finish. It really is no wonder why many have ripped this story line off over the years.
6: Living Doll (Season 5, Episode 6)
This episode is the clear contender for scariest episode of the series. While TZ is quite tame by today's standards, this story still holds up surprisingly well. Under the right conditions, I think you could still freak people out especially when the story is no-nonsense when it comes to playing it straight. Even the ending is freaky with Talky Tina as the forerunner to Chucky--making him look like the one for the kiddies.
5: To Serve Man (Season 3, Episode 24)
I cannot stress the deserved legendary status for this episode enough. As I mentioned in my original review, you have all the best elements of TZ wrapped up in this episode. The themes are timeless as little would have to be changed in the plot to make it apply to today's world. Plus, you have a 4th wall break and that notorious twist. IT'S A COOKBOOK! Oh man, it never gets old. You absolutely cannot go wrong with this episode in any shape or form.
4: A Game of Pool (Season 3, Episode 5)
TZ may be known for crazy twists and sci-fi stories, but this episode thoroughly demonstrated that's not the only thing they had to show; you don't always need to rely on TZ staples to tell a compelling and thought-provoking tale. This is simply the challenge of one man against another in order to prove who is the best. The banter between the two leads is priceless, and the tension is hard to surpass. The themes and lessons of the episode are timeless, important, and applicable to all aspects of life and even people. It may be overshadowed by other classics, but definitely do not ignore this gem of the series.
3: Walking Distance (Season 1, Episode 5)
The winner of my Top 10 Underrated list, it should come as no shock this episode makes a triumphant return. There is just something magical about this episode that encompasses what TZ is all about. The exploration of both nostalgia and the longing for youthful innocence and happiness creates a kind of touching and emotional experience. I think any audience can relate to the main character as he longs for simpler days when his life was carefree. The story's retrospection is complemented well by the music, and this episode really nailed a topic that TZ would retouch upon multiple times. I can never get enough of this episode which is why I bring it up all the time.
2: Five Characters in Search of an Exit (Season 3, Episode 14)
Now this is how you tell an anthology tale: a beautifully crafted mystery that completely sucks the viewer into the speculation and intrigue. Who are these characters and where are they? The reveal is definitely startling and should have anyone questioning their own reality. TZ has many reality-bending episodes, but this is the one that truly succeeded in leaving a lasting impression. Besides all of that, this is simply a badass premise to begin with that only gets better as it goes. It also helps that this is a timeless tale--making it that much more powerful and relevant.
And the best episode in the entire series is...(Drumroll!)
1: The Hitch-Hiker (Season 1, Episode 16)
For me, this episode is in a league of its own. You have numerous plot elements at play that come together perfectly to tell the series', hands down, best episode. The somber music, a dark and ominous atmosphere, a mind-blowing twist--all pulled together masterfully by the beautiful Inger Stevens as the lead. Ms. Stevens brings such conviction and a genuine sense of dread to the role that it transfers readily to the viewer. The entire weight of the episode was carried on her shoulders, and she successfully pulled it off and then some. If the atmosphere weren't enough, the mystery keeps you totally entranced as you arrive with Ms. Stevens at the surprising revelation at the end. As I stated in my review, this episode resonates with me on a different level altogether, and I absolutely adore and love this episode to no end. If you can only watch one episode of TZ in your life make it this episode! You will not regret it one bit.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Top 10 Worst Twilight Zone Episodes
This list is sponsored by Chesterfields: nothing says smooth like a hit from a cocaine-laced Chesterfield cigarette...which is what you're on if you enjoy these episodes. Although the Twilight Zone is known for timeless classics and legendary stories, there were unfortunate episodes that make you realize why the show was cancelled...twice. Whether the episode was bad from a technical standpoint or was incoherent from start to finish, these are the stories that serve as a blemish on TZ's glorious legacy. Once more, if you're curious about any particular episode you can check out my full reviews for each. Finally, these are my personal opinions, and, if you have a problem with that, I'm sure there's a "safe space" at some college to seek comfort in. Now, without further ado, I present the worst episodes of the Twilight Zone!
Dishonorable Mentions (in order):
Elegy (Season 1, episode 20) - The first legitimately bad episode in the series. The plot is predictable and overshadowed by shoddy camerawork involving the supposedly dead extras.
The Arrival (Season 3, Episode 2) - Starts off incredibly promising but shifts into an incoherent mess only to linger onward to a miserable conclusion. Of all the episodes on this list, this is the one that could have easily escaped this fate had they put a tad more work into the ending.
The Gift (Season 3, episode 32) - There was certainly potential here, but it's as if they only had enough material to fill 5 minutes of the running time.
The Last Night of a Jockey (Season 5, episode 5) - I can appreciate the approach, and I did like the miniature set, but nothing makes any sense and the conclusion is moronic.
10. Spur of the Moment (Season 5, episode 21)
We have a time loop, a horseman of the apocalypse-lookalike, and an attempt at a plot twist...yet this episode still falls face first into the ground. The love triangle is presented horribly, and there doesn't appear to be a point to the story. On top of that, the time loop is pointless, unexplained, and the main chick is too stupid to figure out how to change the past even though she knows where her past self will be and how she will react. That's a good one.
9. Mr. Dingle, the Strong (Season 2, Episode 19)
I would have rated this episode lower on the list, however, the story appears to be, at least, slightly self-aware. The comedic elements just don't work due to the overly cornball nature of the plot. The aliens look utterly abysmal and demonstrate TZ's budget limitations. If the resolution weren't so lame, I would have actually forgiven the shortcomings.
8. Sounds and Silences (Season 5, Episode 27)
This episode mostly fails due to not taking the material seriously enough. The background characters serve no purpose, and the main guy is not properly fleshed out. Had the story taken a darker turn you might have sympathized with the main guy or it would have made his comeuppance more satisfying. Instead, we are left with one of the more irrelevant episodes in the entire series.
7. Ninety Years Without Slumbering (Season 5, Episode 12)
Similar to "The Gift," there was, realistically, 5 minutes of material to work with. Unlike "The Gift," however, the general premise of this episode is idiotic. Some old guy thinks he will die if a clock stops? Okaaay...except it's not true, and the old guy is conversing with his own ghost or something? Whaaat? In a nutshell: this plays out like a spitball idea cooked up in the TZ offices that somehow was taken seriously.
6. Come Wander With Me (Season 5, Episode 34)
This is what happens when the TZ writers puff away a little too hard on those Chesterfields. I can appreciate trying to incorporate a musically-themed episode into the mix, but the story is a complete mess. Once again, nothing makes any sense but in an extremely annoying way. The audience is left in the dark with only faint hints as to what the hell is happening.
5. The Mirror (Season 3, episode 6)
I kind of understand what they were trying to convey, but it's all too stupid and pointless. Oh noooo...a magic mirror that might show the future. There is no clarity, and the attempt to depict paranoia fails monumentally. Maybe if this episode were from season 4 it could have worked given the extra running time. On the other hand, that would have probably been a bad idea, because they would have dragged it out to create an even more torturous experience.
4. Black Leather Jackets (Season 5, Episode 18)
What a debacle. The tone is completely off with that goofy music, and why would aliens, covertly trying to take over the world, dress so conspicuously? To make matters worse they add a love story to the mix that occurs over the course of a few hours? Whaaaat? And the final nail in the coffin is the unbelievably rushed and lackluster ending that has absolutely no resolution. My goodness...
3. The Jungle (Season 3, episode 12)
This episode is just bad. On the surface, the idea of a corporate asshole getting his comeuppance after disregarding locals sounds mildly interesting. The execution of that idea is terrible. Cheap sound effects, moments of sheer idiocy, and a pitiful ending cement this as one of the worst. If there were simply more buildup or explanations this could--COULD--have worked.
2. The Hunt (Season 3, episode 19)
I hate this episode. The retardation is palpable during every single second. It's almost like the story is a slightly edgier (yet less funny) episode of "Scooby Doo." I can't get over why TZ thought this would work or how anyone could take this material seriously. The afterlife is just some shitty dirt road in the middle of oblivion? AND you can get tricked into going to hell unless you have a dog with you?! Riiiight. Hey, at least it's not number one on this list, am I right?
And the worst episode in the entire series is...(Drumroll!)
1: The Bewitchin' Pool (Season 5, episode 36)
Well this shouldn't have come as much of a shock--this episode is painful...utterly painful. No other episode could possibly occupy this prestigious position. Besides being the worst episode on a technical front, as well as one of the dumbest stories ever depicted in TZ (or any other fiction for that matter), this episode sours TZ's entire legacy by having (what should be) the honorary position of the series finale. Argh! It frustrates me to no end that this is the bookend to the franchise--the worst fucking episode of them all! Shit audio, horrendous voice dubbing, reused scenes, laughable acting, a creepy pedophile grandma, a ridiculous divorce plot line, and a goddamn hidden world under a swimming pool?! Get the hell out of here! I refuse to ever watch this episode again.
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